Of fake christmas trees and beachy fun

Let me start by saying this about my rather uneventfully eventful trip to Port Dickson( the one place in Malaysia everyone equates with hot sandy,overcrowded beaches and ice cream sellers on rumbling unreliable shreds of metal they call bikes): there were times when I seconded the above opinion but there were also times i thought: "Hey I should not be enjoying this too much!"

Times i thought PD was uncool:

1) The Hotel service sucked because there was a heavy influx of holiday goers on the weekends and the management was shrewdly determined to kick us out even though we were willing to pay for a half day extension. They wanted to corner us until we offered to pay a full night and day's amount by extending our stay on the day of our checkout. It was so wily and unprofessional that my aunt blew up in their faces and managed to milk a meek apology from those sour faces.

2) The heat was unbearable. As usual. Why am i even complaining?

3) The beach wasn't as clean as the other beaches I'd been to and was teeming with fluffy green seaweed. Sure they were harmless but they were everywhere and that made the sea water look disgusting.

4) The pool was marvellous-it was huge BUT it wasn't exactly kid friendly and that is a problem when 60 percent of our travelling CLAN is made up of kids ranging from ages 10 months to 12 years.

5) The most annoying thing was the absence of a float pumping service because we had brought along all sorts of assortments of floats for the kids and none could be inflated and as a result we couldn't bring the kids to the deeper parts. Which in turn meant the adults(i.e me) were stuck in the shallower,more boring regions. The kids would clamour to follow me when i tried to make an unsuccessful lap from the shallower part to the deeper part.

6) Moi here was dying to ride a jet-ski but those preposterous hotel assholes had set a ridiculously high price-RM 150 per ride for 30 minutes! Before it used to be a mere RM40 and that vapid excuse of fuel price hikes was totally stupid because the fuel prices had been stabilized again and i could see they were just cashing in on a previous situation. Gits.

7) I LOATHED the stupid real/fake christmas tree smack in the middle of the otherwise passable hotel reception. Now this tree was a monstrosity causing massive visual and mental pollution because the gits had actually spray painted a tropical tree(that resembled a fir tree) stark,chemical white. And on its unshapely,bent branches greyed and withered at the ends were ugly multicoloured christmas balls and cheap looking ribbons. The shape was the main sore. It looked nothing like a Christmas tree. It had boughs and leaves poking out at awkward,unflattering angles and there wasn't even a Christmas angel for star to put at the top of the tree because Oh! What Joy! The top of the poor ugly tree bent in protest against the not high enough ceiling.It was a disastrous attempt at improvisation and creativity.

Times i thought PD was actually cool:

1) The spectacular sunsets. They are flawless.Impeccable. Tapestries of God's grand design splashed in hopeful colours in the sky. I.LOVE.THEM.

2) The pool-it was not kid friendly for the most part even though it had a cute little slide and all which meant that it was adult and swimmer friendly which was perfect for me. The pool was huge and artistic and unique meaning i never got tired of swimming and there was even a ginormous artificial waterfall rumbling down into the 2 plus meter deep part. Simply delightful.

3) The Clan itself. What would i be without them? What would i do without them? The kids were of course like energizer bunnies rubbing off their unceasing energy on my 20 year old-newly-susceptible-to-aches-due-to-laziness-during-holidays-body. We actually became immune to the mushy,creepy seaweed and ended up having seaweed fights. I was of course the bullseye, the seaweed pinata. I was never that good at dodging stuff especially handfuls of algae green seaweed coming at me from all directions from tiny,innocent looking hands. I loved that Grandma was there and my Grand Aunt,Uncle and my youngest Aunt's family of devilishly cute critters. I loved that i had my family with me to share in all the goofy jokes and gyuffaws.

4) And how could i forget the simply delectable seafood treat at Pantai Ria. Seriously the buttered craps,large fresh prawns,clams,baby Kailan( a type of tasty vege dish found only in Tropical countries),sweet and sour chicken and fried sotong(squid) curry were so mouthwatering I even dreamed about the feast all over again in my dream. I would get fat in under two weeks if i lived near that restaurant. The divine delish-ness is killing me!

5) Wait before i drift into the all too familiar land of forgetfulness, i have to say the speed boat ride with my family WAS THE BOMB. The cool beach spray and air the whipped against my hair and face made me feel so alive whilst Leo and Junior squealed in delight as the boat veered dangerously on the waves and mom put a furtive arm over us with a grin playing on her fair features. Dad was ever the man of the prow-he sat right in front with the driver and chatted about everything under the sky with the man. Trust my dad to be the charming doctor who manages to make small talk even in the middle of a boat ride surrounded by a misty air of danger. Haha.

6) Did i tell you how refreshing it is to eat triple coned ice creams out in the sun on the sandy beach with the kids? It's just lovely. Sitting there with the waves lapping at many pairs of crudely aligned feet,licking ice cream with careless abandon.Ahhhh.