A day in the life of a LLS( Lost Law Student)

Considering the place that I call uni is so orthodox, Im surprised I still manage to have fun there.

This is what a day in my life at "uni" is like:

1) Before going to bed at night I'd set the alarm to 7 am every morning coz my classes have the audacity to start at 9 am. But then I end up waking up at 8. 30 and then rushing through everything. Coffee, a bite of toast, throw on a jubah and drive my furry little atos like blue madness on wheels.

2) Once I've parked my car, I plug my earphones in under my tudung,blocking out some of the reality-that I'm hopelessly late for class and I hate classes in the morning.

3) Once I'm in class, I put on what I call the mask of "nodding and agreeing" with everything the lecturer says so that to the stranger observing, I'd look like a dexterous student taking in every morsel of wisdom. When inside really I'm listening to "Don't touch me now" by Busta Rhymes or some upbeat music to keep me from falling asleep.

4) Or when I'm with my fellow sunlight hating friend in class, we'd sit the farthest away from the monstrous reaches of the imposing UV fingers and a) nod off or b)( more common) exchange a flurry of notes describing in intense detail the distracting baldness of our hairless lecturer and burst out in random fits of suppressed laughter.

5) During lunch time just before tutorials start, if my fellow evil comrade in arms are busy with their classes, I'd sneak in food(usually a big cup of coffee and a sandwich) from Nescafe( there's a stall) into the library and wolf the so called food down in the most unladylike fashion. It's either eat fast or die being found out. Trust me uni life is not that much different from a battlefield if you know how to draw the comparisons.

6) Sometimes if I'm really tired, I'd nod off in the library till i get a beeping sms from my FCIA asking me why the hell I'm not in tutorial; at which point I'll do what I do best, sprint, files askew to class.

7) And in tutorial, my tactic is usually "Attack to defend". In other words, it works like this: I ask the lecturer questions before he could ask US questions and give out head spinning cases to discuss. It's a 50/50 strategy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it involves stealth and cannot be used too many times on the same lecturer. They actually notice. Wow.

8) Then at around 5 pm, I'll drive my furry blue box home and crash onto bed like a dead log.

See what a wonderfully productive law student I am? Grandma would be proud :)

Celebrities give boring generic interviews(yawn)

Do you realize that celebs give such boring generic interviews? All interviews smell of the same formula and try to expound the same things:

1) I'm filthy rich and famous but I want you to believe I'm a kind, sincere, humble and down-to-earth person( Oh and forget to mention that you're the sort of diva who would order someone to pick out all the red M & Ms from your specially designed platter).

2) I'm rich and famous but I'd trade it anytime, anywhere for family and friends( which brings us to the next commandment-see below)

3) I have a solid support group of family and friends who amazingly are always there for me even though I'm jet-setting all over the world being famous, and conveniently not remembering them.

4) My life is great on all levels now, the emotional, spiritual, social, career wise and I'm at my most stable and happiest now( in this case they seem to have a delusional or displaced reality disorder especially in the case of celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse. Because obviously their self destructive antics in real life don't attest to commandment No 4).

5) Whatever has happened in the past has made me a much stronger and wiser person and I will not repeat it again( this coming from mouths like Britney Spears is an oxymoron*warning bells* LIAR)

6) I have a vivacious need to give back to the world, after the antics of celebrity baby mommas like Angelina Jolie( hence you see people like Madonna casually flitting through the adoption process and picking out some poor young sap from a 3rd world country like she would pick out a pet and give it the same superficial maintenance as the pet)

7) I don't work out. I hate working out.I eat junk food( yeah despite which you manage to retain a figure that could only be sculpted by the best paid trainers and dieticians in the world.Right).

8) I'm not as shallow as you think I am. I think personality is more important than beauty. Beauty is skin deep( tell that to your Botox infused, surgically enhanced face aka Demi Moore).

9) I'm kind of unique and expressive. I find happiness in the little things in life like the smell of my kids' hair( aww that would have been sweet if it were not for the fact that in real life you're an obsessive philanderer).