My baby cousins!

A picture collection of my baby cousins...brings delight and joy to my heart everytime I see their softness, cuteness, beauty and innocent joy( courtesy of the highly talented Rabiyah Kassim http://www.facebook.com/rabiyaaa93)

My family is not from Mars, it's from another galaxy

My family is such a hodge podge of races. It's like a whole little global village happening there.

Let's start with my immediate family...

There's my mom who looks chinese thai even though she's not completely and my dad who could pass for chinese/a fair malay/philipino( the whole conundrum of races from the south east asian plate). Then there's my sister who looks chinese or chindian but is actually Indian inside. That's because she can amazingly pronounce words in a perfect, unperturbed Indian accent. Then there's my brother who looks( used to) Eurasian because of his dark brown hair and fair skin and sharp features. Finally there's me who feels all over the world( sometimes I can identify with the black psyche; we're all Adam's offspring...)- apparently according to my sister I am a cross between Pocahontas and a Navi( wth??)*rolls eyes* because I look like( as if it's a concession) a fair red indian native- Yay i get to talk to birds and animals and jump from random waterfalls and put freaking colours in the wind and make out with paraplegics in wheelchair while I'm blue and freakishly tall.

The race quota brims over in my youngest aunt's family. All her kids are adorable, fair, cheeky and under the age of 8( alarm bells should be ringing-there should be security council for these kids). The eldest looks Kazakhstan with a hint of chinese, the second one looks algerian, the third looks south east asian but with sharper features and the youngest looks like a puddle of white tofu; i.e eurasian/algerian. But they all have perfect Burmese diction and like Burmese food and curse in Burmese.

Then there's my grandma who's half thai-half chinese. But to me all i see is GRANDMA. She's like the template of what grandmas should look like. Round, old, quaint, very wise, much more observant than she lets on, cooks delicious food and a true patriot and very religious.

My late maternal grandpa looked like a classic Indian actor with sharp features and an aquiline nose and snow white hair and he spoke like a well bred Englishman until he bursts out in annoyance in a hail of Urdu (usually at me because no one can quite annoy and endear to him at the same time like me).

I have cousins who look Malay and can speak Malay but obviously aren't Malay. I have a purely Malay cousin brother in law who can kind of speak Burmese and has a little "Ballay" on the way.

I have a cousin who's dating a Persian girl and he could pass for middle eastern himself because he is tall( not to mention huge), fair and has those dark eyes and if he wore a turban he'd look like a perfect jihadist( sans the mane/hair/fuzz etc).

Cousins and aunts and uncles and goodness knows how we're related relatives all converge at one point, the mecca of potluck Burmese i.e; my Gran's house. Now you know why my sanity does not always toe the line. Who can when you have such strong, conflicting racial traits and genetic markers popping up everywhere around you and manifesting themselves in the form of your relatives? And i mean it not in a bad way ;)

Another timely rant

I'm a very expressive person. I have a lot of love to give. Its the same with hate. Im a fiery ball of emotional energy. But just because i magnify every emotion a thousand fold and feel for the equivalent of a thousand people, with a thousand tears and a thousand joyous rainbows in my heart...i cannot expect others to be like me. Maybe others are like planets orbiting quietly in stark contrast to the burning sun...they dont emote that much and they dont feel as much. It is a problem for me because everything i feel i feel it deeply. When i love someone i love that person so deeply, ill place that person on a lofty pedestal and love him/her with a love so fierce that you couldnt find it even if you combed the ends of this universe and over again.

This is the love i feel for my family, especially my parents who are EVERYTHING to me and who SACRIFICED so much to make me the person i am today. God knows how fucked up i would have been if i didn't have such uniquely loving and caring parents. Which is why I am yet to dedicate a portion of this fierce love to a guy...I really cannot find anyone worth bestowing such love on and say whatever u want, id rather die single than waste my love on an insipid fool who does not have an inkling of appreciation for the love im capable of giving. Im like a loyal little puppy and i would gladly die a thousand deaths for that person...I expect so much from people. I see the world through rose tinted glasses, a romanticized world view of things that should be.

Sadly reality is a bitch and when im expecting a thick, creamy cup of freshly brewed Brazillian coffee, i get slapped in the face with a slosh of cold, diluted, cheap, roadside coffee made with fatty infused condensed milk and low quality dishware.

This is so insightful and spot on!

Your Valentine's Day Personality is Cynical

You really, truly hate Valentine's Day. It's your least favorite day of the year. You think Valentine's Day fake, tacky, over the top, and meant to make single people feel bad. You realize that Valentine's Day is a holiday that only benefits companies... not couples. You know that real love is not about teddy bears and roses, and you feel like the holiday cheapens emotions.

What's Your Valentine's Day Personality?

Today just gave new meaning to the words craziness,camaraderie,extreme camwhoring and fortune cookies

I had so much fun today with my girls.I really needed this day out after all the stress of tests and assignments I've been through(like going through hell and back!) I haven't met up with them for so long! Seriously i think there's nothing like a cup of much needed bubbly girlfriends' day out cheer to make the world go around...mine in particular. Living in today's times mean that we hardly have time to catch up with our oldest friends let alone scratch our backs. And trust me I know...and it doesn't help that i suffer from a double dose of perfectionism and workaholism. These girls are my shoulders to cry on...I've been friends with them since forever and i know they're the people who would actually laugh if i trip but CATCH me if i fall. I can count on them. I love them to death. So here it goes: "Bros before Hoes!"

Visual Musings

I Love these from http://mila-loveology.blogspot.com/ For more whimsical,quirky,thought provoking musings check it out...

This song is simply divine, enough said

I am in love with this beautiful ballad by Death Cab for Cutie. Call it cheesy, melodramatic, whatever. It's got me humming along and tugs at my heartstrings better than any other song!

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

From the windowsill of the cynical romantic

Love is everywhere and love in this century is so overrated. I think it has reached its peak/climax throughout the course of miserly human history! From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet( starcrossed lovers galore) to history's infamous Trojan Horse and Helen of Troy whose beauty set sail a thousand ships at war to movies like breakfast at tiffany's, gone with the wind, a walk to remember, the notebook, titanic. Gut wrenching love and devotion for one another throwing love lorn lovers at each other like puppets with destiny's enormous hand...and let's not forget music-from rap, hip ho, emo, goth, rop, rock, new wave, jazz, classical, pop u name it.

There's no genre of music that the nosey parker hasn't touched! Love has obstinately become the very pivotal fulcrum on which the whole of human existence turns and its becoming annoying.
I mean it's overrated...I really scorn days like Valentine's day- thats a shitload of crap that commercial opportunists are cramming into customers' love bedazzled heads to pull out fat wads of cash from their unsuspecting wallets.
Coming back to human history, its a lot like rumours they are blown grotesquely out of proportion( i know no matter how accurate historians claim it is). They all saw the romance between Helen and Paris and the jealousy and rage it invoked in King Menelaus but what about the political maneuverings and ulterior motives of power and land involved? No... people preferred to see the mushy version, they saw the flower and ignored its dirt soiled roots working hard below.


I get sick of young couples pledging undying love for each other, spurred to madness by stupid celebrity reality shows cashing in on infamous Love like " Till death do us part" ( Carmen Elektra and ex-hubby- came to a sad end, w/o love) and Newly Weds and heck, even Britney Spears hourly wedding. Eyes bold, and large locked onto their lover's, endorphine charged brains blinding them to signs that relationships need more than shots of love spurts that fizzle out like the burnt end of firecrackers once the spark is gone...that they need dedication, maintenance, wisdom, understanding and a whole package of stuff the media and history conveniently left out;that made true love what it is...not love based on sexual innuendos and MTV style " She's coming home with me tonight" sort of love so rampant these days.

And even people closer in me to reality are going on and on, beating around the bush about their new love interests. Love is mushy, fleeting, has its foundations on denial, lies and hurt. All people see is the icing of the cake, the merry, happy hour version, candy fluff and paper hearts, diamond rings and wedding cakes and sunsets that never set, a guarantee against loneliness...And yes love hurts, it can hurt you and maim you in ways the most gruesome torturers can't. It can strike deep into the soul, a haunting melody that hangs around till you die. A beautiful fractured promise of togetherness and intimacy that was never to be. Is love really worth all this? If it brings you only pain and memories that make your worst memories seem like dabbles of sunshine,is it worth the leap?Do they see this?
Yes heartbreak is explored through the very same mediums i mentioned earlier but it takes one to see it face to face to know what it looks like and believe me honey, it ain't pretty. But as it is, its also blown way out of proportion, taking precedence over more important but oft ignored issues like oppression, unfairness, tyranny, religion,injustice and other social issues that deserve as much media attention as Love and maybe more... People jump off bridges because of the big B word, friendships ruined, lives tainted, a string of commercial enterprises launched and companies set up.
Love is a foolhardy emotion and true love exists for the select few who can see it w/o the eyes of this world...

-SK-