shabby blog

Friday, February 27, 2009

Time after Time

Im feeling awfully like I'm wasting my time. I hate it when this happens. I should be doing something productive! A part of me says I deserve this Me Time...I've been so busy with work but another part of me says I should be doing house chores, helping mom and talking to my old man because I rarely have time to talk to him on weekdays. Urrgh! I wish i wasn't so Type A. I wish I could afford to be more laid back and carefree without thinking about other people all the time.

One thing I've known since I was a child was that while i can be empathetic, emotional and self apologizing even when not necessary, I've also had a stubborn side to me that was firm, set and as immovable as Himalayas when the time came to be. That side of me dictated that I do not submit to grovelling no matter how high the bribe, stakes or greener pastures offered were. People say there is always a price at which you can buy over a person but I beg to differ. Even if you threw a stack of all the world's money at me with promise of more to come, if I feel that my dignity or pride is at stake I won't catch a whiff of a note. No Sireee...

But then again I do have a price in the sense that you can buy me over with sincerity. If you are sincere and honest in your demands, I might just make an exception to it as long as I am treated like an equal, the relationship is two way
(of give and take) and I am given the respect I deserve. Many people fail to see that I can be easily bought over like this and when they expect me to grovel in return for the glamourous once in a life time(so called) opportunities, I get pissed and hard headed as a mule, stick to my guns and never ever acquiesce to their high handed demands of servitude.

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