A little analogy between exams and fatass babies

I was just telling a good friend of mine how sitting for exams was excruciatingly like giving premature birth to an over weight baby with multiple disorders...n it's not even Caesarian period. Like u suffer, sweat,toil and bleed(mentally) and when you reach the operation theater which is the exam room you break out in cold sweat and seriously wonder if you can make it through in one whole piece,if you would be the same as you were before. Like a wrestler, the overweight tub of lard would take away a huge chunk of you if not your limbs(etc) followed by your fragile esteem. And once you've given birth to that obnoxious piece of obesity that is supposed to be your child but which you hate given the nature and way in which he was born( manifested through exams), you might find yourself even feeling a tad bad for the extreme dislike you had for it and maybe even start compensating for it by liking the baby
(once exams are over, it seems that much less scary so it's easier to not feel afraid). That is until the fatass grows into a full grown cottage cheesy whale of a depraved pimp that sticks knives in the door framing your head-which is the day the dreaded results come out.

The love hate relationship that i've had with my disgusting baby will hopefully end on the 28th at 5 pm which is tomorrow*shudders* But i will definitely go through much agony when i find out he has in fact turned into a fatass pimp despite my best efforts. Others get cherubic angels flitting around with rose scented congrat cards for results...and people like me get fatass pimps that hog the earth's space.