shabby blog

Monday, April 6, 2009

Greener pastures or the green eyed monster?



I guess it is rather flattering to be envied. I guess im sometimes too idealistic in the sense that i think vices like jealousy and envy are abstract feelings that exist in the war of good and evil in fables and fairytales but woe betide me i've just come to the realization that this isn't true. It's been repeatedly splashing and clawing at my face...so many little nuances and examples that build up to make this giant, perfect tapestry screaming green monster green monster at me. But repeatedly i've denied it and refused to learn the skills expounded and spawned by Darwin's stupundoficious theory ostentatiously named " the survival of the fittest theory". What a load of bullshit. I mean its like saying "Hey we're animals. We need to honour our basest instincts. For our material survival without which our existence would be meaningless, it is justified to use every tool whether ethical or unethical, humane or inhumane, moral or immoral, good or bad as a means to an end."

So out goes values like humility,modesty and acceptance of one's own weaknesses and in comes(rudely shoving in, stepping on collective humanity's soul)aggressive, testosterone charged values like confidence and arrogance with no strings attached. Where things like bashing other people's self image to up yours a notch is seen as a norm and even encouraged and those who protest seen as weaklings, weirdos, misfits because they do not agree with the prevailing status quo of humanity's messed up psyche.

Maybe Im too idealistic. Maybe im too sensitive according to most people's standards but if being aware of things-like being receptive to others' feelings,dignity,humility,modesty and hurting when "good friends" stab you in the back because of the green eyed monster that you had no active hand in creating,is seen as a by product of over sensitive paranoia, then i do not want to belong to such a society. Because these values are what makes us different from the dog taking a crap on the roadside. Because these values are what makes us different from the cigar puffing, unscruplous conman waiting for his next hapless victim. Because these values are what makes us different from the diva in a room full of white lilies yelling orders to have every inch of the room revamped with red roses just because...

I'm not saying im perfect or that ive been free from jealousy or envy but at least i accept that its not right to leave it festering unchecked in one's mind. And i nip it in the bud. So far ive been able to do that. Because i think " Hey whatever that he/she excels in way better than me is his/her God given right and talent. So instead of despising it we should admire it because it is a manifestation of the Creator's omnipotency rather than hating it and regarding it as a magnification of one's own inadequacy in that aspect". I know there are times when i falter and its difficult to keep abreast of the jealousy but how could i ignore something that is so fundamental and true???

And remember what happened to Julius Caesar? He got too powerful(according to his peers) so he was killed and they hid behind a sly shroud of having done a service to Roman society by ridding it of a soon to be tyrant(which wasn't even proved). I think that if more people were aware of their station in life and held on to it firmly no matter how much more another person shines than them, they wouldn't feel so intimidated,inadequate(and therefore feel a need to put down that person) or scared because you know that you already have a very important and unique part to play in the fabric of time and the universe, just like every star that makes up the evening sky.


I LOVE THESE QUOTES:

Never waste jealousy on a real man: it is the imaginary man that supplants us all in the long run. ~George Bernard Shaw


Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~Harold Coffin


Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James


If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill. ~Danish Proverb


Envy slays itself by its own arrows. ~Author Unknown


2 comments:

JujuMcMuffin said...

I so get u. I get envied too. iT'S NOT GREEN-EYED. The monster's green, not its eyes

Su Kyaw Khairun said...

Yeahh yeah whatever Ju

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