A ditty about 3rd year lecturers

Ok first off, I'll just have to scream into my cone of silence: what the heck is wrong with them hormonal 3rd year lecturers?? Fine maybe you wont see them sprouting fangs or turning a nasty shade of green signalling the hormonal attack( I kinda wish it did so then we'd have time to prepare perhaps?)but my third year lecturers, all of whom are co-incidentally female( hmm what does that say abt females and law?)are a tad too emotional to function normally in a classroom setting. Don't get me wrong, all of them are stellar lecturers and i'm grudgingly glad that at least women who seem passionate abt their job are teaching me but the mood meter imbalance thing kinda scares me because i dont know what to expect.


Take for example( i shall not name names since i do not want to meet a ghastly end), Lecturer A who is actually quite accomodating and warm and gasp*nice in her room but in the classroom, she is like this ghoul shrouded in mystery. She'll show slides of Vietnamese Orchids(wtf)then give us a conveniently vague assignment. Sealed with the audacity to tell us to "breathe and laugh and relax!" before coming to class. Sorry, but im a sadist and a cynic. Then she'll tell us she wants say, a circle and then the next day turn around and argue vehemently that all she's wanted was a square all along. She'd make incredulous remarks like "Sayang" before the actual launch of the hormonal weaponry.


Then take lecturer B who stormed out of the room because the presenters were taking some time getting ready. We waited like that for some time till she came back into class, a thunderstorm hanging over her head. And the class, yes pin drop silence. But then on the plus side, she really does hammer those who come late to class because she'll actually stop her lecture, give them a spine chilling glare and ask them deadly quietly what the time was. Before the student was done reflecting how she should answer the rhetorical question, several well aimed headshots would be flying her way grilling her about her unfortunate habit and ending with " I'll lock the door or ask you to get out the next time this happens". It would be better if she had shouted because you can see the potential fury and rage in the open but when someone speaks in a deadly quiet tone like that, you just never know how much of blackhole energy is waiting to explode inside. Makes for a good show though, as long as it's not me( i know right selfish bitch that i am but at least im honest).


After the hormonal ones, come the cool as cucumber, stick-to-the-book-as-if-your-life-depended-on-it-types. There's one lecturer, let's name her Mdm Tassaud. Now Madam Tassaud is like those bookish librarian types that follow things to the letter and wouldn't allow for an exception in human circumstances unless it were computed to her that she do it by a higher authority. She drones on in a monotonous, high pitched voice which strangely does not carry past the third row in the lecture theatre and changes slides at the speed of light. So can you blame me for doodling nonsensical nothings with my friend at the back of the class? Coz at the end of the class we have absolutely no idea what she's talking about.

And hey in our defense we tried, the first week, straining our ears out of our tudungs and taking down whatever words we caught( which in the end ended up looking like babblement anyways). If you miss a tutorial which hasn't even properly started, she'd want you to give a scroll extending to doomsday about why you weren't able to make it. "No submitting assignments after lectures!Only in tutorials...it cannot be helped if you can't for emergency purposes make it to the tutorial this friday". All that said with a sweet, concrete smile.


But then there are the nice hormonal ones...The one that's very warm and motherly and always has a smile hooked onto the ears. Then there's the cute, unassuming little lecturer that tends to skip her own classes but is really quite nice. Why can't they all be hormonal in a good way? Oh wait there's no such thing as hormonal in a good way. So scratch that...the nice ones aren't hormonal. They're just well NORMAL.