Saturday, July 5, 2008
The Winner and the Wussy
I think there are only two types of guys in the world. The Wussies and the Winners. The Winners are just like the rest of us...sure they did get hurt in the past but they are smart enough to notice a good thing when they see one and go after it relentlessly. Thats my idea of a guy. The guy who comes after the girl...not the Wussy who plays a one sided game of push and pull, push and pull leaving nothing but confusion and misery in the mind of the poor girl who was unfortunate enough to have fallen for such a spineless prick. He's the type that would rather do away with a spine than have a spine capable of sustaining injury...and proving that he's a man through and through. Such guys I think are so rare in today's gender confused world where social, economical, political lines are blurred by gender divides...Just look around and you can see softies, transsexuals, homosexuals,bisexuals, soon-to-be-categorized-sexuals and even asexual people! It's a kaleidoscope of unpredictability and chaos out here. And there are even new age terms for the modern guy such as " sensitive new age" which is another way of phrasing the increasing transition towards feminity in the social context; whilst at the same time society struggles to hold in place the mold of the quintessential herculean male. So no wonder guys are confused. They are expected to be more nurturing and open and recent decades have birthed a huge rise in role reversal. We see accomplished,ambitious,straight males aiming to become chefs, shirking the conventional, tailor-made-for-male professions. On the other hand, with the advent of the WWII we stoically welcome the new " Alpha female" capable of holding her own in a man's world, the emancipation of women and the general acceptance that education should be made available to both genders equally.
The rise of the Alpha female must of course have threatened the resident male population and led to a clamour for a return to a "Stepford Wife" like ideal where the primal hierarchical order is restored and the male dominates in all spheres of life. And the new breed of Alpha females must have inadvertently replied to this challenge to their freedom and equality by campaigning for the feminisation of the male ego. Thus results the metrosexual and the Sensitive New Age guy and a bevy of other labels which cleverly conceals the magnitude of this phenomenon-the war between the sexes. The resident male population must have felt pleasure in giving a hefty tug back into their own compound too-the objectification of the female persona through popular culture and movies.
Sure it gave women power unknown over men. Sure it heralded the arrival of the new age, independent, self sufficient, strong, empowered, modernized 21st century woman. All of this in exchange for objectification. What a price...seemed like a good bargain but what a lie!
However the history of the eternal tussle between the two genders may play out, I've come to the conclusion that all throughout history, men have been motivated by a need to dominate and conquer-sometimes at all costs and terrible consequences( read the Napoleonic wars, the Bush Sr/Jr US-Iraq wars etc) and women in their fierce campaign for their need to be accepted as an equal to the male psyche, forgot that we are vastly different.
So coming back to the male "Wussy" and "Winner" categorization. Both categories of males will have experienced a washing down of the male ego due to the bombardment of feminine propaganda and gender equality movements. But the difference is that while the Wussy lets this feminine projection mess up his head and override his male ego( self), the Winner finally manages to achieve a balance between a healthy respect for women as human beings in their own right and with their distinctive capabilities and their inner male psyche . This means where they are willing to acknowledge that it is "Ok' for a woman he is interested in to be having a better career than him, they are also quick to tap into their maleness and have the guts to pursue their object of affections even in times when the power tussle between the genders, is at its height. So it boils down to one thing, the Winner male, if he truly likes a girl, would throw caution to the winds and pursue her relentlessly while knowing there is a huge risk of rejection. And even if she rejects him, he takes it in stride, like a man, puffs out his chest, tells a few jokes and laughs it off. Just another day. Period. Not the wishy washy Wussy that plants doubt and confusion in the girl's mind trying to kill two birds with one stone: a) Get the girl b) Be a little less manly and refuse the risk of rejection by playing around with her affections. What a Loser...